Journey So Far (Part 1)

     It was a cool night and I was staring and admiring at the stars while sleeping on my balcony at midnight. It was the midnight of my birthday and I was still 5 hours before the exact time stamp of my birthday. My roomy was off to his Hometown and I don't know why I was recalling some articles from newspaper where I had read many theories of the body where we stay, I would say captured or trapped in it many say it as energy and don't know why I was today focusing on this theory. At my Childhood I heard that an empty mind is a devil's workshop so I never keep it empty or idle any time rather I force it to think on Good things unless I reach the terminal of boredom and then I have to think different. My birthday is always at a perfect mid of June when the Summer is just ending and the monsoon is about to arrive or started somewhere in South India. The first Rain has come and the Air is cleared of by all dust for a clear look of the stars. They(Stars) are clearly visible most of the time at this time of the year and I was lucky today to see them staring at me with a smile of twinkling light from the canopy of the night Sky. I was really tired today and was nearly asleep. I gazed at it when I tried to remember my old days. I was telling to myself that it's going to be 27 years being stuck at this place(Earth) now. So with a tired mind, I just tried to remember the journey or I can say a probable JOURNEY SO FAR.

               I remembered about the days when I was not I, but the I was WE. I remembered when we used to be in the highly dense and heaviest pitch dark Hole in the Space which had absorbed huge stars in it and surrounded by big stars and light form all around. It was the best stable darkness where there was no motion or body and we were just like an INFINITY captured inside a ZERO space at first. 
              
               Then one fine moment everything changed where at one moment we were all stable and fixed at one point and then in the next moment we started to separate and we started to detach from the Dark Hole making a trembling Explosion which is called the Big Bang now in this planet. We never knew that we are such huge inside that black dark Hole of space that we were in. We only thought its only darkness always a sweet stable Peaceful and soothing Darkness surrounded by Light but now we could feel the heat of big Hot and bright Lights of stars escaping from the Hole from the Point where we were settled from an incalculable amount of time period(as Time Stops inside). The WE was now disintegrating into numerous Is.

             I observed am not only moving straight forward but also rotating at my axis and with the rotation I was feeling everything around me. I used to feel the tingling light rays of individual Stars glowing and Burning in there majestic glory of Pompey. I felt the heat of suns and then planets revolving round that Sun. Some suns big and some small. The bigger the Sun the more the number of planet around it. I had observed now that there is no more WE anymore as all pieces were now separated and have flown away far from me. Suddenly I had started to feel bad of being alone and lonely. I felt that the stable thing in darkness was so good and so cool, where we felt as if everything was taken care by the thing that kept us. And now I am restless and moving here and there adrift aloof alone, just flowing in the force that was given to us by the dense Hole that had kept us. I started to miss all the pieces from whom I got separated, I was missing that feeling of WE. I was not able to see anything nor hear anything but I could only feel Forces acting upon me in the big space. I wanted to again go into that mighty beautiful Darkness which was always surrounded by Stars standing in queue to enter into it and thus a bright light formed around it due to the stars all the time. I had never seen that light but I could always feel that whole and fulfilling feeling of energy of light. Although I am in darkness now too but this darkness is cold, where this darkness is taking me somewhere  it keeps me Unsettled, unlike that previous darkness which was always hopeful surrounded by light and energy and above all Peaceful and I felt the togetherness. Then, I decided that I will search it, and go to it again. I will use my full force and available energy to again find it and penetrate it to the heart and never leave it again. The moment I thought this I was focused to search my origin again I had a direction of thought now. I started to think how should I search it. Now I started to think about that Beautiful Dark Hole thing of my origin and then I realized that when we all separated we all were such huge things in such a small and tiny place which means The Dark Hole should be something that had pulled me/them and had sucked us and squeezed us from such a long time. So it should have attracted, absorbed so many stars into it and absorbing such huge stars  means it should be definitely attracting things to it with a very mammoth huge force. In this point of space and time I realized suddenly that at any point I am actually feeling many forces always acting upon me(Later I learnt this force to be Gravity).  I thought may be that all the things in the universe attracts every object that is in space but, it is always a very big huge Mammoth Force acting on that thing that also pulls us to itself for final peace. Just imagining all objects with different mass and kept on a cloth called Space and the one with the maximum Weight  makes the Deepest Hole in the Cloth and pulls all lighter things towards it and holds them.

So I just concluded that I will let myself free and try to Focus to listen to the biggest force that acts at me. If I do this then finally someday I will reach my destination again or at least a similar place as my previous home. I kept moving thinking this in mind that I have to not think at all but just respond to the strongest force that is acting upon me. :) Then with a Smile in my heart I just did that.

  

          But the journey was tiring daunting and I was missing my other parts of  the ZERO in that darkness of Origin. I could not talk to them I felt like I am a cutaway a Banished thing. I sometimes felt why, Why was I pushed from that thing and what mistake had I done. I didn't know how to express these things as being without a Body you cannot cry you cannot express but you can only feel whatever comes your way you have to only feel it. The only thing that happened when I became sad was my speed decreased I deviated from listening to that biggest force acting upon me. But sometimes I felt myself lucky that I am such a lucky one to able to travel so far to feel and realize so many things around me. I felt like the Dark Hole had purposefully pushed me to see the universe to travel to explore and learn things saying m, "GO, Have Fun for sometime". I felt happier when I thought this and when I felt happier my speed increased too. :) I started to observe this thing that my speed increases when I think good so I started to learn that I have to anyhow enjoy the journey. Enjoying every feeling of Debris passing through me hot big stars near me making me feel like I will burn, I talked to the stars, the Debris, I smiled and they smiled back too. My speed increased I was swift. After a long time I started to realize that a strong force to which I was following to all the time had become more stronger now so I felt like my destination is closer. Observing the Forces acting upon me has also increased, I realized that the force is coming from a big Swarm of Stars somewhere near to me. Stars which are very bright and full of light formed in a way of spiral travelling to something that is at its center travelling in a spiral way to the center. I got a feeling that the center is my Destination. It was the first sight of the Milky way, the Galaxy that I was going to stay in for next 27 years and more. Wow I felt, because its always great to see a Family you are going to be a part of being so happy. I was jumping out of excitement and the only way I could express my happiness was, by focusing my all energy to that Force that had become stronger and just fly and just become a part of the WE inside the ZERO again. I was jumping and flying(not floating) towards that darkness of Origin at the center now. I got hit with many Asteroids Comets and Debris but I did not bother anymore I just flew. I also realized I am not alone but there are many small lifes like me who are also near to me Flying towards the center of the Galaxy.  Seeing my fellow lifes I felt good, its like, when you are all alone and you see company and you feel like "Oh My God, I am not alone in this. Giving a slight hint that you are not alone in the path and may be it’s the right direction" and that feeling makes you happy.  Within this all travel I could see nothing the only thing I could just do was I could only feel things and with travel of so many light years I had started to figure out my friends around me by the feeling that I had and By the way they were travelling I felt them to be faster and more swifter than me. I had no eyes then but my vision was due to the experience of feelings and forces on me.

   Thinking that the journey is going to end now as I have found my destination, I once wanted to figure out how it would be everything appearing around me by concentrating on all the forces that are acting on me. By my experience now, just by the magnitude and direction  of forces that was acting upon me I could say the size and distance of the thing that was getting applied on me. By my feeling I could only describe what my eyeless vision showed to me. So while I started to figure it out, I felt like there is A big spiral of light and it was beautiful with a mixture of High and Low intensity lights. All the stars were at an artistic space from each other and in the space they formed a nice circular spiral which opened up to the end while being dense at the center. This was the most beautiful scene to me, for me they all seemed to be a family a nice happy family. The swarm of stars that were appearing tiny from a long far away now appeared bigger and I was nothing in front of them. My Speed had increased now and the stars and Suns of the galaxy now appeared huge to me. Sometimes seeing these big and strong contenders claiming for the same thing u feel bit shaken and low. But still, trying to think nothing I started to just move and focus on the Big force. When you travel in the space you feel nothing, you never get tired, you never feel any resistance of air or heat. U just flow in the space friction-less, you have to use the objects that come in your path sometime to change your path to get directions it's like they help you reach your destination. I had started to get a strange feeling now. The feeling was Good but still strong. May be in stopping myself to visualize the beautiful Galaxy I have deviated and lost my focus and this Sun has gone strong upon me. As if I am in a big Solar System and there are some Planets in it revolving round the sun. There were 8 planets around it and the Sun was Glorious, the Energy that it had was beautiful. Oh I forgot it’s not 8 there were 9 planets actually. The 9th one was very fragile in nature The Sun could never control it with its Force, it was kind of coming and going in the System. :) This system lived like a nice small happy family in the Full Galaxy and that was a thing that fascinated me to it . It had two giant Planets at the 5 and 6 position and were very beautiful and unique too. The 6th one from center had a ring too around it unique from all the planets in the system. It had a red colored planet and also a beautiful Blue Planet. 

            

              The Blue Planet was the most beautiful thing that I had seen in my whole journey it appeared as if the Whole solar system is protecting it and making all things possible to make it appear beautiful and Survive. Secretly inside I thought if I could go and Visit her(the Planet). They(All members of the system) had all balanced each other so well that they were stable and I felt a feeling of Nostalgia for my Darkness of Origin days. But Still all being said I saw that I am drifted by looking at the beauty of this Solar system. I entered inside the Solar system and probably I guess, I had started to think if I made a mistake here. :)